SCRIPT

I decided today to end this performance on Tuesday, which will have been one long month of scripted life. It will culminate with a final show Tuesday evening, a performance of a review of my project, co-starring my classmates and studio professor. Gail will also be attending the show and reviewing the performance, and others audience members may be invited as well. Because everyone will be together for this show and I plan to print a copy of the script for each actor, my hope is that we will all be freer to script lines for ourselves and others instead of just for me.

Though the actual experience will be a collaboration with my classmates, there are a couple themes I hope to address. First, I want to really try and have fun with this performance, without feeling like every detail has to be really well thought out or meaningful or even make sense. I have a tendency to agonize over every decision, feeling a sense of dread that the “wrong” choice will somehow ruin the piece. I want to push myself to let go of this one, and remember the possibility of art just being fun and expressive and not necessarily entirely controlled and planned. Also, I’m wondering whether we could rethink the idea of our art reviews…what are the roles of the reviewers and the artist? How much of it is already normally a performance, and can we break these patterns through our own explicit performance? I’m also thinking about these themes of doubt and failure that have been recurring throughout this work. Could this be a way to confront them head on? Could making them into a subject of this performance allow for a stepping back, a view of them as distinct constructs rather than enveloping and consuming?



Wednesday, February 17, 2010

[Setting: 6am. LAUREN wakes up. She goes for her normal run, and then does a short 10 minute meditation to start her month-long experiment. No expectations whatsoever, she watches her mind.]

[LAUREN decides that she will be happy today. If any feelings come up that may interfere with this happiness, stop, recognize the feeling, then accept it and go back to being happy.]

[LAUREN decides to sign up for the surfing course that the cool guys from her class are going to take. Now that she's living in Los Angeles, she might as well take advantage of one of the few good things that the city has to offer.]

[Setting: CASEY's office, early afternoon. LAUREN meets with CASEY.]

[Setting: church, sometime. LAUREN attends mass for Ash Wednesday.]

[Setting: 4th floor computer lab, 2pm. LAUREN TA's class]

[Setting: MARS library, 5pm. LAUREN attends ERKKI's class.]

[LAUREN begins to plan for the closing shows of her performance.]