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February 1, 2010

The script today included a lot of scripted lines and though they were not any more silly than some of the actions and outfits that had previously been in the script, they were much more difficult for me to perform. I guess what it comes down to is that when I am doing something weird by myself I could care less what anyone thinks, but it quickly becomes uncomfortable when I have to have actual interaction with others. I suddenly feel open and vulnerable to a whole other level of judgment.

I am slowly opening this project to others beyond those that are very close to me. It seems quite a different thing, for one of my classmates to write something and see me do it, versus someone far away affecting my life with the click of a button, trusting it’s happening, but never seeing it happening (beyond a short video or snapshot). What about those that don’t know me at all? What does it feel like to control some person that only exists for them as a mental concept? Does it mean anything to them? What will it feel like for me, to relinquish control to anonymous collaborators who I may not even know?

[LAUREN wakes up. She puts on the most colorful outfit she can find and replaces her profile photo on the DMA site with a picture of a rainbow.

The thought she tries to keep with herself as often as possible today is I WILL LOVE EVERYONE I INTERACT WITH TODAY.

Today is going to be fun, not because anything specific is going to happen, but just because she wants it to be - it's just an experiment. In every conversation I have today, I will try to acknowledge and thank the other person for how they have contributed to my thoughts, work, and life - this does not just mean saying 'thank you' out loud - but truly considering how the people I interact with determine and shape my life on deeper levels than I am normally aware.]

[Humming out loud...
Woke up,
fell out of bed,

Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,

And looking up I noticed I was late.]

[Lauren decides to switch up her lunch plans. She eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!]

[Setting: CASEY's office. 1pm. LAUREN and CASPER meet with CASEY.]

CASPER: Hi, Casey. It’s quite a beautiful day, isn’t it? I know that’s a rather silly thing to say, seeing how it is always more or less the same weather all the time. But, what do you think? And, I do apologize for being so wordy today, but this is what it’s going to be like when you become a part of someone’s ‘scripted’ life.

LAUREN: Uh, oh, yeah. I guess I should be apologizing since it’s really my mom who got a bit out of hand. [Lauren rolls her eyes in exasperation.] Did you know she wanted to be a writer at one point? She won the freshman fiction writing award when she was in college.

[Setting: 4th floor computer lab. 2pm. LAUREN is TA'ing class.]

LAUREN: [Looking over the shoulder of one of her students] You know, you might find it helpful to get a copy of ‘Visual Explanations’ by Tufte. Are you familiar with Edward Tufte? Oh, he has given so much thought to exactly why images are successful.

[Receiving a bewildered look from the student.]

LAUREN: Trust me on that one. My younger brother really enjoys performing magic tricks. He rarely reads a book, but even he got something out of it. [Lauren laughs outloud.]

[Setting: grad studio. 5pm. Class ends, LAUREN returns to studio making strange noises].

[Inspired by the Rachel Whiteread exhibit, LAUREN decides to start supplementing her other work making with regular drawing experiments even though she doesn't think she's no good at drawing. She starts on her first one...]

[Lauren pulls out her laptop and opens up Sketchup. She decides to do a sketch of an elasticized bridge, spanning a most cavernous gorge. Her Sketchup drawing looks like a piece of chewing gum stretched between two countertops.]

[LAUREN decides to see if she can get a copy of the Tufte book. She thinks, I should check to see if there is a copy of it in the library.]

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